Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Talk.

Amber and I went for nightly walks around the track. This is where we tried to solve all of life’s questions and problems. We never seemed to get much accomplished, but boy did we try. The topic that whole next week was Darin. She wanted to know where I stood in my feelings and where I thought he stood. Well, I knew where I stood, but couldn’t speak for him. All I knew is that no one measured up to him. I compared every single boy I’d ever met and continued to meet to him. He was hands down the kindest, sweetest, funniest, godliest, smartest, cutest, most intriguing person I had ever met. I had a chemistry with him that I had never in my life felt before or even knew existed. Our personalities exploded when they collided. It was beyond our control.

One particular night, not long after the hand holding escapade, Amber and I walked and talked for close to two hours, trying to figure the whole thing out. She let me vent and talk and wonder and question and she always gave me such sound advice. She was the rock that I needed during this very confusing time. When we got back to the dorms, it was 10 o’clock and almost time for my “online date” with Darin. We decided each afternoon when would be best for us to “chat” and that night, it was ten. I pranced into my dorm room, threw off my tennis shoes and collapsed in my computer chair. I tried for 15 minutes to get my computer to work, but it simply would not connect to the internet. I was infuriated!

I threw on a hoodie and ran downstairs to use the dorm computer lab. I knew Darin was waiting to chat and I didn’t want him to think I stood him up. My head was spinning with thoughts of Amber and my conversation from our walk and with frustrations of my computer. I finally logged on and there he was – mjmmy8, waiting to talk to me.

He asked me where I had been and I tried to play coy, acting like I’d just gotten in (when in all actuality, I was ripping my room apart trying to get the blasted internet to connect). Hey, just because we held hands and liked each other like crazy didn’t mean I was going to stop playing the game. I had to keep this boy on his toes if he wanted to date me.

We chatted about the days events and suddenly, out of nowhere, things took a turn. He started getting serious on me. He talked about how great the previous weekend was, and how he felt like he was getting some answers about us. We both saturated the entire friendship/relationship in prayer, and we prayed together every time we left each other, so we were both coming to the same conclusions – it was just voicing them that was so terrifying…and wondering if the other felt the same.

The common theme throughout our relationship had been “God’s timing”. We had already experienced challenges with this together in the short time we had known each other – with him moving to a new town, with college decisions, and now – with taking the next step in our relationship. We prayed and prayed for God’s timing and had a hard time distinguishing His timing versus our timing and what we wanted. We talked for hours about what to do and when/how to determine His timing and what He is leading us to do. We knew the feelings were there. We knew we thought about each other constantly. We knew we had a solid foundation to our relationship – built on Bible study and prayer. We knew we were attracted to each other. After going around and around the subject of the Lord’s timing, we ultimately decided that night, that it was time. We couldn’t wait a whole year to decide if we still liked each other. We knew we did, and nothing was going to change that.

Darin became my boyfriend that night, September 5, 2001, established over the world wide web, miles and miles apart. I couldn’t stop smiling as I rushed up the stairs to break the news to Amber. She fell in the floor once again screaming.
I was beyond excited. This was my first boyfriend since I was a freshman in High School. And at that, this was my first real boyfriend with real feelings and real future. This was a relationship to take seriously. After all, I decided years ago that I wouldn’t date anyone I wouldn’t consider marrying, so this was a huge step…for both of us.