Chapter Twelve: The Drop In

The year continued and so did the e-mails. Darin and I were so used to telling each other every minute detail of our day, that we often wrote notes during class (so junior high – I realize this), and exchanged them at our lockers in between classes. We couldn’t stop talking. Sometimes, after a long instant message conversation online, he would call to tell me something he forgot. It was crazy how much we had to say to one another. He stayed late every Monday night after Bible Study at our house and usually left around 10:30. He, mom and I would sit and talk or clean up and talk or whatever. We never left the comfort of having Mom around while we talked. Sometimes, he and her would sit and talk more about the lesson while I cleaned up. He was thirsty for more the Word, and I could tell. He had a growing desire for Christ and it was very evident. He told us he had never seen so many teens that loved going to a Bible Study, and it really encouraged him. He was so happy to have moved here when he did.

November came and we were out of school due to a massive snow storm for quite some time. My friend Katie and her dad drove over to pick me up one day so that he could pull us behind his truck on a tube. He drove us up and down the snow covered roads and we had the time of our lives. I don’t think either of us had ever laughed or screamed so hard. He took us back to my house and she stayed over for a while to continue having a fun snow day. We were sitting in the living room with Mom when we saw someone coming up the driveway on a four wheeler. Lo and behold, it was Darin and our friend Joel. They were out enjoying the snow day, too and decided to drop in to see what we were up to. They stayed for a few hours and we had the best time talking and laughing. This was the first time Darin had been to my house when it wasn’t a Monday Night Bible Study.

Katie, unbeknownst to me, had been e-mailing Darin and asking him what was going on with the two of us. She asked me too, and I always gave her my staple answer: “we’re just good friends”. I don’t think she believed me. Well, little did I know, Darin was confiding in Katie and telling her of his growing feelings for me, and fading feelings for the girl he thought he liked from Truth and Peace. He made her swear not to tell me anything, and he kept giving her the juicy details.

Weeks later, she was staying over at my house for a few days while her parents were out of town and gave me the typical, “If you promise not to tell anyone I told you, can I tell you something?” I of course, agreed and she began telling me about the e-mails from Darin. My jaw dropped. What on earth was happening? I demanded she SHOW me the e-mails that very minute. The whole time she was logging into her e-mail account she was chanting, “I am a horrible person – he is going to kill me – please don’t tell anyone – I shouldn’t be showing you this – I am an awful friend!” I kept reassuring her of her loyalty to me and our wonderful friendship and how she was doing the right thing. Then it happened. She let me read every last e-mail with every last detail.
I was shocked.

I thought he liked me but I had no idea of half the stuff he said. He told her how much he loved that we could talk about anything – and especially, that we could discuss Spiritual matters and how I was urging him deeper in His relationship with Christ. I was baffled. I screamed and Katie laughed. I kept saying, “oh my goodness, oh my goodness,” and she would say, “Oh wait until you read THIS one”. We read for an hour straight and I didn’t know what to do.

Then he called.

“Hey, mind if Casey and I drop by?” he asked. They were bored because all of our parents were gone to the same place that evening.

I tried to act calm, cool and collected, but on the inside, I was freaking out. I didn’t know how to act and hoped I didn’t act any different now that I knew what was going on.

“Sure,” I told him, “Katie and I are just here hanging out – come on over.”

I hung up the phone and started yelling at Katie. “Katie, you CAN NOT leave the room and leave us alone together. If you do, I will not speak to you for the rest of my life! Katie, PROMISE me you won’t leave my side!!!” I continued.

I had rarely been completely alone with a boy. Especially a boy that I knew had feelings for me. I hadn’t had a boyfriend since the one when I was young, and had never kissed, dated or had true feelings for a guy.

She was in hysterics and I was freaking out. It was the first time he was coming over without a large group of people there and I did NOT want to be alone with him – especially now that I knew he was having feelings for me. I was nervous beyond comprehension. Katie laughed and egged me on – “OH NO, WHITNEY – THEY’RE HERE!”

I told her to stop freaking me out and to STAY with me. I let them in and we all went into the Den to hang out for a bit. Casey got up to go get a snack and Katie said, “Casey, wait up, I’ve got to show you something”.

I could have killed her.

I quickly chimed in, “Where you guys going??” They ignored me and left the room. Katie turned around and smiled at me and I shot her the evil eye. I was furious and terrified.

The evening turned out okay and I relaxed once they were there a little bit. I tried my hardest to not act weird because I knew that he would totally know what was going on, since Katie had been staying with me. I did have to excuse myself and go find Katie and Casey and drag them back in there with me, though. They were my comfort in a very awkward situation and when they were there, I could be myself.

They finally left a few hours later and as soon as I smiled and shut the door yelling, “goodnight, guys!”, I slammed the door, turned around to Katie and screamed “KATIE DAWN – I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!” She burst into a loud shriek and bolted the other way. I ran after her and we collapsed laughing uncontrollably on the bed.

We giggled and discussed the drama that was beginning in my life all night long. And we checked her e-mail for a new one from him. After that night, his e-mails to her started to die down a little bit and he was starting to open up a little more to me. I hoped it wasn’t obvious that she told me.