Chapter Thirty-Three: Awesome.

Do you have little obscure moments in life that for whatever reason stick out in your mind? Situations and happenings that have no real significance or meaning – just pieces of time that are forever tucked away in your memory?

I was fourteen years old and in my cousin’s truck going from her hometown to mine. She was driving and I rode in the passenger seat, with country music blaring and the windows rolled down. Her truck smelled like hairspray and strawberries and her blonde hair shined like gold in the summer sun. I couldn’t wait to be her age and drive with such freedom.

“Who is this?” I asked as I picked up one of her CD’s.

“Clay Walker.”

“Oh.”

“He looks awesome,” she said.

I died laughing and asked, “how can a guy look awesome – I mean, I can understand cute, good looking or hot or whatever, but awesome?”

“Yes,” she said. “He’s awesome looking.”

I continued giggling.

I had never before heard anyone describe someone as “awesome looking”, but in my mind at that time, it seemed like the highest level of physical attractiveness that you could label someone.

Awesome.

I wondered if anyone would ever think I looked awesome.


****

Darin was the best about throwing compliments my way. He was always telling me how pretty I looked, or how beautiful he thought I was. He had a way of growing my already big head. Not that I was high on myself … I literally have a really big head.

He wrote me letters and poems and always reminded me of the beauty he saw in me. I’m pretty sure he used every word in the book, but in the back of my mind, I secretly hoped that one day he would tell me I looked awesome. Of course, I never told anyone of this strange little hope I had, because it was silly. After all, who would prefer to be called “awesome" looking when you were called gorgeous, beautiful, cute, adorable, etc. by the man you love most?

Um, apparently me.

I don’t think I ever heard any other person use that word to describe someone else’s physical appearance after that day with my cousin, but for whatever reason, I never forgot it.